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[Fyo]

Leather Anniversary for OOPS!
An unbiased report by Twylight Princess

   It was with much celebration and candle-blowing that the Order of Pointed Sticks [OOPS] celebrated their Third Anniversary on Monday. Here are the highlights of the event. Having arrived fashionably late this editorialist missed the red carpet entrances, however it did not stop her from picking up many bits of gossip to share.

   The ever fashionable Arzu and Raina (Doomed Drunkard!) (Doomed Drunkard!) were trend-setting yet again, both sporting stylish Antlers. It seems the always chic Arzu has switched hairdressers after the unfortunate hair debacle over the Canthan New Year weekend. Her Kournan hairdresser Fredrické was fired after much public scrutiny and she now shares the famous Le Grangé ülå Tu†orlç al la Mode from House Brauer with Raina (Doomed Drunkard!) (Doomed Drunkard!). The two women were in fine form with his newest concoction; Andouillers de Victoire.

Raina (Doomed Drunkard!) (Doomed Drunkard!) sporting the newest hairstyle from House Brauer.

   There were however a fashion faux pas by the rugged ROMS ranger Nairo Sionuill.  His outfit was last seen being worn by him at the Association for the Betterment of Menzie's Fundraiser Gala in Ascalon last month. Looking a bit harried, he wore his repeat outfit of Elite Drakescale and a Dwarven Long Coat with as much confidence as a man who's draped in a 4 year old Yak loincloth could. The stylish and silent Zekkou Dageki was heard muttering in the wings "Eck, what was he wearing? He looked like he was wearing an Ettin's hide."

   Despite this, the rest of the OOPS members looked their best in their finest. They flitted around, as social and as welcoming as ever. The hor'doeurves were impeccably presented and tasted just as good. When inquiring who the chief was, it was discovered they'd employed Imperial Chef Yan to prepare the delectable dishes which included; Sliced Mandragor Sandwiches, Minister Cho's Afflicted Chicken Wings and a light salad of   tangled seeds, dragon root and guardian moss tossed with dressing made from truffles and celestial essence.

   After enjoying socializing for a while, the reporter was whisked off into a battle within the hallowed halls of OOPS hall. It was to be the last event of the evening, followed by one last large announcement. However the anticipation of the announcement did little to stifle the competitive and playful battle that was to come.

The teams were divided as such:

Them-
Arzu [OOPS]
Tegid [OOPS]
Rogan [OOPS]
Raina (Doomed Drunkard!) (Doomed Drunkard!) [OOPS]
The Nudger [OOPS]
Karma [ROMS]
Avari [ROMS]
Loden [ROMS]

The Fighting Mongooses-
Myrddin [OOPS]
Si Nik [OOPS]
Puck [OOPS]
Zanzara [OOPS]
Leena [RAWR]
Nairy [ROMS]
Rain [ROMS]
Fyo (Cupcake Princess) (Cupcake Princess)[ROMS]

   The battle was swift and deadly... The Fighting Mongooses soon wiped out Them in a fast battle before Them resurged and wiped The Fighting Mongooses, pushing the Mongooses back to their rez shrine. During this the aggression and rivalry of Loden and Nairy was fierce. Their taunts were heard floating across the tense air and punctuating the clash of steel and the flash of spells. Despite this The Fighting Mongooses were able to push against the resistance and forced Them back into their fortress, swiftly striking at their Guild Lord and slaying him with the aggression of the Vabbian sun.

   Once the battle was over, the wounds patched and the finest Tyrian sparkling grape juice was distributed, as well as copious amounts of popcorn; the attendee's settled in for the long awaited announcement which was delivered by Tegid Teles and Myrddin The Embries who set aside their past rivalry and delivered the message in tandem.
After much lead-up and dramatics as only two Mesmer's can conjure up, they announced: "The Great Tyrian Footrace."
This announcement lead to great anticipation and much conspiring as questions soon flew; they seem to be holding some details close to their double-breasted suit's and tails. However what is known, is that the race will consist of teams and reach across all of Tyria and it will be required to Bring Your Own Glory (BYOG). Despite the buzz the announcement caused the two revealed nothing else, instructing all curious members to keep two eyes on the forum in weeks and days to come.

   Soon after the announcement, speculation on teams began. At last hearing "Team Pink" was to be headed by Loden and "Team Nairy" by Nairo. The Torn Scroll shall endeavor to keep you updated on the team projections as they become known.

   As the evening closed and the party attenders started drifting away into the night the OOPS hall was left with a resounding warmth and happiness that only age can bring. We wish them many more prosperous years and hope to join them in mass massacres in missions for the years to come.

   Cheers!

News Ticker
Brought to you by Nairo Sionuill

Mryddin The Embries and Aidan announce a cross-Tyria race to take place this summer.                      WAIT.  No. Those two are the same people...                                            [Correction] Myrddin The Embries and Tegid Teles announce a cross-Tyria race to take place this summer, details to be released at a later date.                                                 PETM (People for the Ethical Treatment of Monsters) holds protest against armorsmithing community for flagrant use of furs, scales, and monstrous eyes.                                                                              RAWR takes action against Raina (Doomed Drunkard!) (Doomed Drunkard!) (Doomed Drunkard!) Alcarin, charged for trespassing and property damage.                                        RoMS Hall left in disarray after large aardvark evacuation.
Disclaimer: The Torn Scroll (c) takes no responsibility for poor grammar, poor spelling, poor enunciation and/or poor train of thought after 10:00pm and before 10:00 am on any given day. Any and all views expressed in editorials are not substantiated by any proof whatsoever. For more information on the topic of popcorn we suggest this site Popcorn:101

[Raina]

My attorney has advised me that any comment on this blatant attempt to sully my reputation in the alliance could be misconstrued as an admission of guilt in the ALLEDGED damage to the RAWR guild hall which is obviously an attempt by Leena Pendragon to divert blame away from Nairo Sionuill and his misplaced aardvarks!  This clearly puts the blame for any damage done squarely on the shoulders of Rain Over Pebbles.

Any further comment will be made by my attorney, Myrddin The Embries after he has had time to sober up and read all documents involved.

Good Day!

[Loden]

*claps* I beautiful recap of the night, Fyo (Cupcake Princess)! Well written! ^_^

And it was an amazing event, and I would like to say something to a very special and loved friend: Nairy. Yeah, your team? IT'S GOING DOWN!! :heart: ^_^ Love you much!

[Aidan]

Any further comment will be made by my attorney, Myrddin The Embries after he has had time to sober up and read all documents involved.

Further comment:  "My client (along with the rest of Them) admits full guilt and responsibility for any and all past, present, and future allegations of rowdy behavior and will pay in full all damages due to said rowdiness, liquidating assets as needed."

Sincerely,
Mr. The Embries
(on behalf of Raina (Doomed Drunkard!))

Legal fees due:  3,001 gold
Please pay no later than 6/22/2009 or this debt will be remanded to collections.

[Raina]

Further comment:  "My client (along with the rest of Them) admits full guilt and responsibility for any and all past, present, and future allegations of rowdy behavior and will pay in full all damages due to said rowdiness, liquidating assets as needed."

Sincerely,
Mr. The Embries

*kicks The Embries and reminds him of his "past indiscretions with alcohol" (Mesmer Unification Event) that he still OWES the guild for cleaning up his mess that exceeds the amount of his fees*

NOW GET TO WORK AND DEFEND ME!

[Aidan]

Defense:  My client has instructed me to announce her acceptance in full of any and all past, present, and future allegations of rowdy behavior caused by herself or her legal representation and will pay in full all damages due to said rowdiness, liquidating assets as needed.

Sincerely,
Mr. The Embries
(on behalf of Raina (Doomed Drunkard!) (Doomed Drunkard!))

Legal fees due:  3,002 gold
Please pay no later than 6/22/2009 or this debt will be remanded to collections.

[Raina]

I would like to announce today that I have fired my attorney, The Embries and will be turning over my defense to Nairy's Aardvarks who have used their time trapped in the RoMS hall to earn their JD degrees online through The University of Phoenix.

Subsequent comments will be made by my personal executive assistant, Puck Bunny.

[Nairo]

*claps* I beautiful recap of the night, Fyo (Cupcake Princess) (Cupcake Princess)! Well written! ^_^

And it was an amazing event, and I would like to say something to a very special and loved friend: Nairy. Yeah, your team? IT'S GOING DOWN!! :heart: ^_^ Love you much!

Well, uh. Okay. I mean, I was cool with the idea of teaming up, but I guess we're doing this. Alright. Fine. But let me tell you, I'm a native Tyrian, been one for over four years. You're going to have a run for your money, boyo.

[Domnic]

All this lawyerin' reminds me.... We need to hold another public trial sometime. I hear Rain's been eying the OOPS Ice Cream Truck....

[Loden]

*claps* I beautiful recap of the night, Fyo (Cupcake Princess) (Cupcake Princess) (Cupcake Princess)! Well written! ^_^

And it was an amazing event, and I would like to say something to a very special and loved friend: Nairy. Yeah, your team? IT'S GOING DOWN!! :heart: ^_^ Love you much!

Well, uh. Okay. I mean, I was cool with the idea of teaming up, but I guess we're doing this. Alright. Fine. But let me tell you, I'm a native Tyrian, been one for over four years. You're going to have a run for your money, boyo.

Wait, you'd be willing to team up with me!? o_o SOLD! *glomps* See, I knew my Nairy-chan loves me. Guess I can cancel that meeting with the lawyer about the divorce... ;P So, team name ideas: GO!

[Nairo]

Team Magnum ThunderTigerShark! >=D

[Reis]

You mention nothing about Ŗaina's first ever Tombs Run. 



I felt that was noteworthy and should have been mentioned.  Since it was the first time, the Gods smiled upon us all and we slaughtered all who stood before us. 

[Fyo]

You mention nothing about Ŗaina's first ever Tombs Run. 


I felt that was noteworthy and should have been mentioned.  Since it was the first time, the Gods smiled upon us all and we slaughtered all who stood before us. 

I was unaware there was a Tombs run....much less one that was Raina (Doomed Drunkard!)'s first...*sobs, was not even there*

-Demands a Tombs Run this weekend-

[Praesila]

T-T I'm so sorry I missed all this doofusery... I really need to get back on sometime...
And I'm all for another public trial.

[Aidan]

*claps* I beautiful recap of the night, Fyo (Cupcake Princess) (Cupcake Princess) (Cupcake Princess) (Cupcake Princess)! Well written! ^_^

And it was an amazing event, and I would like to say something to a very special and loved friend: Nairy. Yeah, your team? IT'S GOING DOWN!! :heart: ^_^ Love you much!

Well, uh. Okay. I mean, I was cool with the idea of teaming up, but I guess we're doing this. Alright. Fine. But let me tell you, I'm a native Tyrian, been one for over four years. You're going to have a run for your money, boyo.

Wait, you'd be willing to team up with me!? o_o SOLD! *glomps* See, I knew my Nairy-chan loves me. Guess I can cancel that meeting with the lawyer about the divorce... ;P So, team name ideas: GO!

I think I'm going to call you two the Power Rangers.